Lose your ego but not the one you love

I admit that I have so much pride in myself. He fetched me at work but upon seeing him, I walked away. I walked in a fast pace. Few minutes of walking that way made me feel bad. We did not talk to each other because of yesterday's incident. I really felt so bad about it. I felt disrespected. He argued that he opt to not to tell me that he will be going to somewhere else because I would get mad at him. No. Waiting for me for 9 hours is a no joke. You can strain yourself sitting in one place and watch cars and people passing by until you lost count. I understand that boredom strikes indeed because I have already been in the same situation when I stayed to his home for ten days. I just entertained myself by watching movies and sleeping or even thinking about the happy thoughts. I undersatnd if he'll be going somewhere since he has said that he already toured the entire vicinity of  Araneta so he decided to go to Divisoria. I could have understood if he went home to take a shower but no one was home and the door was locked (he could have texted my mom if someone was home since he got her number anyway). I could have understood if he decided to go to SM North Edsa to window shop... IF AND ONLY IF.. he had informed me.
Hell is that reason that I might get mad if he would ask permission from me. It's really a damn thing to say that he could have lied sometimes because I deprive him of the things that he wanted to do. He always say that I don't trust him. I may have trust issues but I have learned to trust him. At first I always doubt his actions, even his words. It's been more than three years since the last time I was cheated, fooled and lied on. The trauma remains but it really takes a long time for myself to get over with the emotional trauma that I had. My boyfriend made myself whole again that is why I love him so much. He has taught me so many things in life.
Well, going back, my point is that just to have a courtesy to inform his girlfriend from where the corners of the hell that he is currently in. Then there would be no conflict. Why am I overthinking of the things that he is not really doing? Because I am not compacent. Proper communication will give me peace for the entire day.Informing me of the things will not make me overthink. Easy as that. If you have committed the same mistake twice, it's already a choice. Ypu just can't say that you can't promise when in the first place you must have think of the implications of your actions. I may understand if you are a pre-schooler but it's questionable if you are in your mid 20s to repeat such simple mistakes that flares up a fight.
I've had enough of the things. Those arguments that hurt each others' feelings.
And so is he.
He apologized.
I refused.
Why is that? Is it because I love the way we fill the house with hatred at the middle of the night?
No.
Never.
I was lying to the sofa and he got close to me. He held my hand tightly and said "sorry" and kissed my hands.
That is exactly what I was waiting for him to say for our conflict to be over. Indeed.
His way of asking an apology to his  girlfriend.
Not the way of saying "sorry" in a high-pitched voice.
We have patched things up. We held tightly. I hugged him and we sealed our reconciliation with a kiss.

A while ago, he already woke up at 9:41AM. I always wake up with babe hugging me from behind or hugging each other. That time, mama is supposed to be downstairs. I usually go down and greet my mom then she would ask if my boyfriend still sleeps. How really thoughtful mama is. Mama already know that he is the father of my child anyway so sleeping with him with our door locked in full privacy is not an issue to her.
I just said he was already awake and he has to go to work and can't be absent for today. I felt heavy as we bid each other's goodbye. He said goodbye to mama as well.
I'm gonna miss him but we will be in each other's arms next week as he will accompany me to the OB-Gyne and play his role as the dad of our growing baby in my womb.

That's all for now.

Goodnight, Manila!